It has been a little while since an update so here goes:
Not helpful? OK then. Side effects from med withdrawal seem to have dissipated now, with no more dizziness since the London trip. I am starting to notice the true effects of being without meds now:
- Clear headedness. My focus has improved and I am no longer so tired.
- ‘Stroppiness’. My wife’s words, not mine. She tells me that I am being more argumentative but I think I am simply being less passive. My boss also reports I am being more awkward to manage. I like this 😉
- Withdrawal. This is the one that really bothers me. I have been finding being around my colleagues and even noisy strangers on the bus really overwhelming. There was even an evening where I looked through the gym window before going in just to make sure the place was fairly empty. It is two years since I felt this uneasy around people.
- Ironically though, my ventures into Instagram have resulted in my being acquainted with more people in my city than ever before – just at a safe distance.
- I did have some fun this week when Lisa sent a good morning message on IG shortly after I got on my bus to work on Wednesday morning. She then got a brief tour of the area from 3000 miles away as I shared my journey with her.
- Dominique has drawn my attention to it being Naked Gardening Day tomorrow. I interpreted this as a challenge….
I am very conscious that at the back of my mind is the knowledge that my breakdown was inevitable because I never made the changes I should have made when I last recovered a decade ago. This has led to some recent changes that, to some, look irrational. There is a logic to them, even if only I can see the bigger picture at the moment. Take de-cluttering for example:
I accumulate both hobbies and their trappings, always have. I know that largely this was because I was chasing something to fill the void left by lack of positive social contact. I am not complaining about this – I am an introvert and almost always prefer to be alone. It is not that simple though – nothing ever is. Is my introversion my natural state or was it forced on me as a way of surviving my childhood? I am increasingly questioning that because I get a great deal of pleasure from my interactions with the friends I have made here. And not just digitally either – I am of to Canada again in a few weeks to meet up with WP friends again, and I can’t wait.
So, what that leads to is a desire to explore this further. I do not have a lot of spare hours in the day so am forced to a choice. I can’t work full time, develop my creative pursuits into a business, look after a huge plant collection, travel, do my share of chores, keep up with my wife and my friends, blog, go to the gym etc. I am already getting stressed by it. I have not read a book or played my guitar in months.
Therefore, at the very least I will be reducing my plant collection, which takes a lot of my time. I expect a lot of dormant bulbs will be sold via ebay over the summer. They might be replaced with lower-maintenance things like cacti. This has the double advantage of raising some travel money. Those of you who follow me on Instagram will have seen that a lot of old vinyl records are biting the dust too…
The new energy and focus has encouraged extra creative activity. I have several drawing projects currently in progress. Saturday afternoon saw me drawing a wooden spoon (don’t ask) whilst simultaneously having a skype conversation with Dominique.
I have also drawn a rather cute ostrich and started an Alpaca for one of our collaborative projects, and am drawing a cowslip (Primula veris) for another collaboration.
With regards my own personal botanical art projects: The passion flower piece should be finished this coming weekend. I have the basic outline of the next piece in mind also.
I have received tickets for the Private View of the Society of Botanical Artists exhibition at the Mall Galleries in London from 5-8pm on June 4th. I have three pieces in this exibition. If any of you are in London that evening and would like to attend please get in touch. The exhibition opens to the public on June 5th. I will be there helping man the diploma course stand from 2pm.
The only bad news about the exhibition is that the Orange Pussy Grabber is crossing the Atlantic for a state visit that week so there are likely to be protests in the area.
My NuMonday shop is now active and has been tested (Thank you Dominique). Thanks also to Dee Dee for being the first person to buy a print privately and for her friendship and support.
I had some test Greetings cards printed with our strawberry/hearts design. Though they are a Fashioned by Nature project I may test the waters by offering them on NuMonday initially.
Finally – some pretty pictures from around the garden.