Hello Uncle Darren’s friends! It is me, Molly! The old bugger is suffering in bed so I have pinched his WP account again.
I bet you all think Uncle Darren is a kind, big hearted hooman? Well I am here to put the record straight! He is a big meanie!
I come here, out of the goodness of my heart, to brighten his New Year just with my super-cute presence. What happens? I am in the house no more that five minutes and he starts sniffing then drags me off for a (I can barely bring myself to write the word): B.A.T.H
It takes weeks of careful dedicated rolling in stuff to cultivate a good smell. And now it is gone. Gone. Worse – they replaced it with yucky lavender.
And my camouflaging layer of nursery mud has gone too! I am so white I can be seen from space! Just thankful I don’t live here all the time or my doggy street cred would be shot.
See – he isn’t the man you thought he was. Be warned!
This is me clean and sulking:
Now I am off to out him on Instagram before he wakes up again!