Lisa’s post today reminded me of this letter I sent in 2011 when my wife Susan was about to start college in her 40s:
Dear Zurich Insurance PLC,
Thank you for your recent quote, via Swinton, for our motor insurance. For the time being I shall refrain from commenting upon the extortionate price increases caused by the activities of persons refusing to take any personal responsibility for accidents and, instead, employing ambulance-chasing low-life members of the legal profession to put the blame on someone else.
My main point is to thank you for declining to insure my wife simply on the grounds that she is soon to be a full-time student and insuring students is ‘against company policy’. The fact that she is the same person as you have insured happily for the last 20 years, is a very careful driver, and is now doing far less mileage than when she was working is obviously not sufficient mitigation.
If the policy was against university faculty I would sympathise with you. Twenty years of working with academics has left me with the suspicion that whilst one hand is giving them a PhD, the other hand is busy taking away their common sense. If they are as big a safety risk on the roads as they are in a lab then certainly you should not insure them.
I can, therefore, only conclude that something about being a student automatically makes one irresponsible and I thank you for bringing this to my attention.
I will start monitoring her closely for signs of excessive partying, drug use, dubious taste in music and clothing, taking her washing back to her dad every few weeks, living on pasta and beans on toast etc. I am somewhat concerned that she might turn into a teenager again and I’m not sure I can take the strain at my age, despite practically living at the gym already. Again – I thank you for the warning and am on the lookout for assistance from a younger bloke and a set of jump-leads.
Clapped Out of Carnforth
I should point out that none of the predictions came true. Yes, including that one.